REVIEW

The debut album from Self Destruction in Your Dreams, a depressive blackgaze band hailing from Gifu, Japan. The album was recorded by a five-piece lineup consisting of A. Aoki (guitar/vocals), Nonono (guitar, keyboards, vocals), Takeuchi (guitar), Shokujihokoku Niki (bass), and Redkensamba (drums).

Many listeners will already be familiar with blackgaze—the fusion of black metal and shoegaze—thanks to bands such as Alcest and Deafheaven, so let us begin with a brief explanation of depressive black metal. In the early 1990s, Norwegian black metal became notorious for its extreme image, shaped in part by church burnings and murder cases associated with the so-called “Inner Circle.” By contrast, depressive black metal turns inward, delving deeply into themes of anguish, despair, depression, and suicide, and cultivating an overwhelmingly bleak atmosphere. Where black metal often externalizes destructive impulses, depressive black metal channels a desire for self-destruction rooted within the psyche.

Japan is widely regarded as one of the safest countries in the world, yet it is also known for widespread anxiety about the future, pervasive loneliness, and a comparatively high suicide rate. In that sense, depressive black metal resonates profoundly with the darkness many people in Japan carry within themselves. With that preface out of the way, let us turn to the album itself.

The record opens with the brief poetry reading of #1, “Five Seconds of Pleasure,” before plunging headlong into #2, “Hitodenashi no Koi.” Gloom-laden tremolo guitars and agonized screams drag the listener straight into hell, while female choirs and fragile keyboard lines are woven throughout, creating a stark contrast between darkness and beauty that will immediately grip fans of blackgaze. A breakdown introduces a spoken-word passage, followed by a renewed eruption of shrieks and wall-of-sound guitars as the track surges toward its climax. Despite running over nine minutes, the song’s dynamic shifts keep it compelling from start to finish.

The opening of #3, “Tomoshibi,” features a melody that strongly recalls “Theme of Laura” from Silent Hill 2. It is practically an anthem of the horror-game and depression-game canon, so if this is your first encounter, consider it a lesson worth taking home. From there, a piercing scream ushers in a waltz-like piano passage before the track hurtles into a blistering fast section. Razor-sharp chugging riffs take over, relentlessly fueling the urge to headbang, until the waltz piano returns once more. The Theme of Laura–esque melody reappears, closing the song in a circular structure that seems to suggest an endless cycle of despair. At over ten minutes long, it is highly dramatic and unquestionably one of the album’s defining highlights.

#5, “Hitoribocchi no Shinju,” leans toward a heavy shoegaze sound, centered on Nonono’s beautifully restrained vocals. Its melody carries a distinct sense of Japanese emotional nuance, lending it a character rarely found in US shoegaze. The sudden eruption into blast beats and screams adds a thrilling jolt of violence. Elsewhere, #6, “Ame,” slowly weaves sorrow in a post-rock-like manner; #8, “Red Eyes,” unsettles the listener with ominous phrases reminiscent of late-era Emperor; and #9, “If,” sinks into a toxic mire with rotting riffs—made all the more memorable by a phrase that lands like the punchline of a dark comedy sketch. The album delivers a continuous stream of varied material, never allowing the listener a moment to catch their breath. The production is clear and powerful, making it hard to believe this is a debut album.

Turning to the lyrics, a closer look reveals a rigorously closed world inhabited only by “I” and “you,” with no third party ever entering the frame. The text overflows with negative words—death, kill, destroy, erase—to the point that one almost feels a sense of mental collapse while reading them. The sheer abnormality is exhausting. It is possible that “I” has already lost their sanity, functioning as what mystery fiction would call an “unreliable narrator,” and that the existence of “you” is merely a delusion born of “I”’s imagination. Loving this imagined “you” while simultaneously yearning for destruction creates a contradiction that breeds further madness, trapping both figures in a dreamlike world where death is endlessly repeated. The circular structure of “Tomoshibi” lends weight to this interpretation.

Self Destruction in Your Dreams is an uncannily apt name… though to be clear, everything above is purely my own speculation.

If you find this album compelling, be sure to check out their newer track “3-ban Home, Boku wa Tobikomu” as well. Its tight linkage between sound and lyrics lays bare the narrator’s completely shattered mental state, making for a genuinely terrifying experience. Turn off all the lights, curl up in your room, and listen while trembling.